What was so easy there ….seems so hard here.

India was phenomenal…mind-blowing…amazing….

Seriously, I’m still trying to process all occurred during our week there.

Y’all.  I did something I’ve always been too afraid to do.  I prayed BOLDLY.  For strangers.  For a LOT of strangers.  I hugged on people, feeling the Holy Spirit, tears streaming down our faces while we prayed.  It didn’t matter that we didn’t speak the same language because we love and serve the same God.  Amazing stuff.  Powerful stuff.

And now…

Now I’m back to living the suburban dream.  In America.  Where we’ve been more blessed than we deserve.  And you know what?  I’m reminded of my need to pray boldly.  To a loving God.  To a powerful God.  Know what else?  It’s me in need of bold prayer.

And…chicken me is afraid to put words to why I need prayer and what’s going on.  Too chicken to share when people a world away were not afraid to tell a white stranger their problems.

I don’t know why I’m so afraid to share.  Fear of disappointing?  Fear of looking weak?  Fear of y’all thinking differently of me?  Combination of all three?  Fear of my weaknesses being reveled?  SO much I’m struggling with.  Tears have flown freely where nobody can see ~ because I’m not ready to put words to  my pain.

Please…pray for me.

And…if we’re friends…we won’t talk about this until I’m ready to, deal?

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3 Responses to What was so easy there ….seems so hard here.

  1. michelle says:

    You will not disappoint. You are not weak. I will not think differently of you.

    I honestly try to remind myself on a daily basis that someone would love to have 1/4 of what I have…even when I think I have nothing in the first place. Does that make sense? We all need a reality check every now & again to put things into perspective. Even at our toughest hours we’re still more fortunate than so many.

    Hugs, sweet friend!

  2. Katie says:

    Thinking and praying for you!

    I struggle with the same “sharing” problem. I think everyone does – it’s a tricky balance. But no one will think differently of you, at least I wont :)

  3. Jane says:

    Lots of prayers your way!

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